MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN


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Louisa May Alcott

Just over a month later, her whirlwind engagement to comedian Pete Davidson ended.

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To sing about it, though, is another story. Fittingly, the control room is decked out like a refuge: a small bouquet of white flowers, a single candle, a light projecting water ripples onto the ceiling. As it turns out, a series of tragedies has given the star two unexpected gifts: the freedom to channel her hurt into the most raw and untempered music of her career, and the audacity to buck the pop music establishment -- which, as Grande will note more quickly than anyone, is particularly entrenched when it comes to women.

She had the support system: her close-knit family, familiar to anyone who follows the singer on social media. And she had the work ethic, performing in public regularly before the age of 10 and on Broadway by age I knew I would. There was never really a doubt in my mind. The singer proceeded to do all she could to reach superstardom, and logged time in the teeny-bopper trenches at Nickelodeon.

In , she signed with Republic Records; not long after, she met Mac Miller. He was 20 and she was 19, so naturally they first talked on Twitter. Now, she looks back on the song as the first time she really captured her own musical style, what she had been searching for while growing up idolizing India. Her face dims slightly; just before this interview, she was working on a new song, which, when she plays it for me later, I realize is about Miller.

So on her next two albums, she went even bigger, employing Max Martin and pursuing the kinds of pop hits that would make her undeniable to any listener. She has hit songs and high Pitchfork ratings, to say nothing of her devoted fans, the Arianators. She followed all the rules, and arrived at what seemed like the top.

The singer has no regrets. But five years into her career, she hadn't yet had a No. Many of the victims were children.

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Meanwhile, she had found new contentment outside the studio with SNL star Davidson, in a relationship that she happily flaunted despite the tabloid frenzy that enveloped them both. This afternoon, Grande is often near tears, a fact she readily acknowledges. I just want to be happy and healthy -- one day -- and make music.


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And she is, in her own words, a control freak. But not every man she has shared a studio with has been as willing to cede the reins.


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People tend to underestimate that. This is also the Grande who has been vocal about fighting sexism. There are so many unbelievable female artists out there that try so much harder. You can be friendly and silly, and yet strong and indestructible. You can be professional and present and also sexual and fun. I feel like there are certain standards that pop women are held to that men aren't.

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As women, we are socialized to take care of others. In addition to work, most women manage their children and family's obligations. An increasing number of women also these days care for their aging parents. The hormone fluctuations are the kicker," she adds. Women are also groomed to be perfectionists so we don't know how to let go of the percent of tasks that may not be vitally important--or can wait a day or two. Seriously, we need to remember: If the kids go to school with two different color socks or store-bought cupcakes, it's really not the end of the world.

We tend to underestimate the importance of getting enough rest. We need to set those boundaries for ourselves because those boundaries aren't being set for us. And, as women, we often find this hard to do. As I said, I hear stories about the struggle with stress and burnout from my clients all the time. For example, a workshop participant who worked "part-time" recently described her typical day:. I work five hours straight through without breaks--since I'm only part-time.

She said all this in front of a male executive, and he looked her incredulously after she finished describing her day, and said, "I would never do that! He also was puzzled by the fact that she managed home, family and work without taking time for herself, to recharge and release stress. Making time in your life for yourself is critical.

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It doesn't always feel possible, but there are things you can do. If taking a vacation this summer is not an option for you, here are some tips to start taking a little bit of time every day to recharge. Start here:. Begin to make yourself the priority --even if it's only for a small amount of time every day. Stop beating yourself up. Silence that critical inner voice that says you have to be perfect. Walk more, or find a family activity that you can all do together to be active.

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Find a colleague to be your "accountability buddy" and keep each other accountable for finding that "You Time.

MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN
MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN MY TIME WITH THE TINY WOMEN

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